Phrases to Use When Explaining Narcissism to Children

1. Sometimes your D/M blames people for things they haven’t done or tells you things that didn’t happen. If they do this to you, it’s because his/her brain confuses what’s true and what’s not. Trust your own brain because it knows what the truth is, even if his/hers doesn’t.
   

2. Sometimes your D/M gets very angry suddenly, says mean things, or won’t talk to you. They will do this even if you haven’t done anything wrong. When he/she does, it’s because he/she suddenly feels ashamed of himself/herself for no reason. Remember that his/her anger is not your fault.
   

3. Your D/Ms sickness sometimes makes him/her act selfishly because his/her brain thinks that everyone feels the way he/she does. So, if he/she doesn’t call or visit, forgets about your games, or does something that makes you sad, it’s not your fault. It’s because if he/she doesn’t feel sad, then he/she thinks you don’t feel sad.
   

4. Your D/M may expect too much from you, like wanting you to take care of him/her, but that not your job and you don’t have to worry about him/her or his/her feelings. It’s his/her job to worry about you and your feelings even if he’s/she’s not too good at it.
   

5. Your D/M tells you something or gives you a look, that will make you feel bad about yourself. It’s not about you. His/her sickness makes him/her think silly little things you do or say are worse than they really are. If he/she does this, remember that his/her brain exaggerates others’ mistakes and ignores their good qualities.
   

6. Your D/Ms brain also makes him/her feel very jealous of others, so if you do something really awesome, he/she may put it down or ignore you. Know that he/she does this because he/she wishes he/she was getting lots of attention for doing something awesome. No matter what, stay proud of yourself.
   

7. It makes your D/M feel good about himself/herself to make lots of promises and he/she wishes he/she could do the things he/she says he/she will. If he/she makes promises to you, understand that they are just wishes. They will only come true in his/her imagination.
   

Obviously, if your children are older, you can be more direct and sophisticated. As long as you’re not denigrating their father or mother but just explaining his/her mental disorder. You’re not being abusive to your kids. In fact, you’re saving them from being damaged by his/her abuse and giving them some good coping tools.