How we as a society, as people view Divorce directly impacts the experiences we have about Divorce. How we as a society view marriage directly impacts how we view Divorce. How we rate the success of a marriage impacts how we view Divorce.
When we are questioned about marriage, the key point we look for in identifying whether is it successful or not, is its longevity. We don’t question whether the love in the marriage is reciprocal, whether the couple are able to flourish together, whether the couple feel that their emotional needs are met, whether they are joined and aligned in their morals and principles. These questions are never asked, the key factor that we seem to ask is how long the couple have been married.
If society only sees longevity of a marriage as the marker of a successful relationship, we can easily see how Divorce is seen as a failure. Divorce is seen as a bad thing.
By not asking the key questions about how the relationship is truly existing, how can we then understand that if the basic principles of a relationship are not being met then it is organic, natural for the relationship to end. It has gone as far it can go and it is not beneficial for either party to continue to journey together.
If we cannot understand that sometimes things take their natural course and relationships end, how can we view the end of the relationship as a positive thing. That two people can look outwardly and flourish with others and end the current relationship in a healthy way. There is no guarantee when it comes to relationships and this is also true of marriage.
Once we are able to identify that if the basic principles of a healthy relationship are not working in a mutually beneficial, co-operative way and that this is the true test of whether a marriage is successful, only then can we view Divorce as a natural process of the end of a relationship. We will be open to viewing Divorce as neither good or bad but rather the ability of two people being able to identify that their journey has come to an end because they are not able to co exist in a way that was respectful and healthy for both parties.
Opening our minds to what marriage really is allows us to be more open about what Divorce is. Rather than as a negative or seen as a sign of failure, Divorce can be seen as a positive step to end any disconnect in a relationship, it can be seen as the releasing of any pain or suffering. It is a positive acceptance that what previously worked no longer does and that end is a positive thing.
How do you view marriage ? how do you view Divorce ?