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The Narc and Financial Abuse

Oh it's so often about the money...and the vast majority of Narcs love money.

Money is a Mechanism for Control

Ultimately, money no matter how much, gives Narcs a sense of power and makes them feel like they can dominate their victims. Narcs like to flaunt their money.

Narcs also withhold money, or adequate amounts of money, from their partner, because they don’t want their partner to leave them. Narcs, at their core, are people who are very insecure, hence their need to control. Research has demonstrated that money is offers the reason that victims of abuse do not leave or return to their abusers.

Narcs are masters of financial abuse and below is a list of ways in which they do this

During a relationship with a Narc, they :

  • Prevent you having access to your money or possessions so that you are entirely dependent on them for food, clothing, shelter, and any necessities.

  • Steal from you or your family and expect everyone to be ok with it.

  • Defraud and /or exploit your financial resources for their financial gain (not yours).

  • Destroy your personal belongings without remorse, especially items that have great significance prior to your relationship.

  • Prevent you from acquiring assets, insisting that you be solely reliant on them.

  • Demand that all financial gifts or inheritances be placed in their name.

  • Open bank accounts in their name and/or yours but won’t give you access or allow you to see any records.

  • Force you to hand over your salary/wages, deposit it in their bank account and then deny you access to the money.

  • Forbid you from maintaining a personal bank account, insisting that you are incapable of managing such things.

  • Put all the bills or credit cards in your name. The assets are in their name but the debt is in your name. This keeps you, hostage.

  • Increase debt without agreement and then lie about it when discovered.

  • Prevent you from using the car by taking your keys. They insist that they are more important than being on time.

  • Force you to work in a family business for little or no pay while tightly controlling all other budgeting.

  • Forbid you from earning money, attending school, or advancing your career. They demand total financial dependence on them.

  • Interfere in your work environment by calling your manager/superviser and demanding you be treated a certain way.

  • Insist on having access to your work emails and calendar knowing details about your job that is excessive, unprofessional, and violates confidentiality.

During the Divorce the Narc will :

  • Refuse you access to money to pay your child maintenance or spousal support because it is not their problem or the other party doesn’t really need the money anyway.

  • Coerce you into selling or signing over any financial assets in only your name. Yet they have many financial assets in their name.

  • Cancel life, health, car or house insurance without your knowledge leaving you vulnerable and then claim that the expense is unnecessary.

  • Hide investment accounts at various financial institutions that are not know to you and have secret stashes of money.

  • Max out credit cards without your knowledge. They will blame you when confronted.

  • Ruin your credit rating and ability to obtain credit in the future by not paying the bills. This move renders you powerless financially because you have no assets and now no ability to obtain credit.

  • Deliberately causes issues in the divorce so that you incur excessive solicitor costs

  • Close or freeze bank accounts.

If you feel you are suffering from financial abuse in your relationship or you are experiencing financial abuse in your divorce process. feel free to contact me at For more information on how I can support you during your divorce or separation process, visit and sign up to receive my blogs and newsletters.

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